A drunk guy walks into a car

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Patient: Doctor, do I have cancer? Doctor: Yes. Patient: Will I live? Doctor: No. Patient: So what do I do? Doctor: SUCK IT UP!!!

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Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

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Why is Osama dead? He got shot.

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So, a man walks into a bar. Suddenly, the universe around him cracks, unable to sustain the weight of infinite potential punchlines. He tumbles through an empty void amongst shards of his broken reality.

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Why did Batman brush his teeth? So he wouldn't get bat breath

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Your mom is so fat that she has trouble walking up the stairs because she gets easily winded.

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What happened to the man who went to a strip bar? What happens to all of us. He died.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

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What do you call a clown with no sense of humor? Unemployed.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Haiku doesn't rhyme, And neither does this

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what does dana do in her free time? make love with jarrett

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"What's black when clean, but white when dirty?" "A blackboard."

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Why did the old man lose his cane? He didnt. He had alzheimers

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A dinosaur is walking down the street. He is soon confronted by a human. The human says to the dinosaur, "Hey, your a dinosaur." Which the dinosaur replies with, "Yes, yes i am." The dinosaur then stands there for a few seconds wondering why he is in the same time period as the human. And as to why a dinosaur would talk.

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what starts with b and ends with b? The bomb i just planted in your house.

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womans having rights.

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A black and a white walk into a bar, d.r. King would be proud.

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why are you reading these jokes? i have nothing else to do. ok

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Where is aodhan's ma? Jail, she was cought with a bag full of the white powder.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was black.

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Why is Ian's name Ian? Because he was adopted

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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