What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

thumb_up thumb_down

how do you save a black man ... u don't

thumb_up thumb_down

I never made a mistake. I thought i did once but i was mistaken

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are Blue Violets are Red I am High How about you?

thumb_up thumb_down

What do a grape and an elephant have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down

What worse than being shot? Waking up and finding a penis in your mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down

how many Arabs and Jews can you fit on a bus? The bus in question is a 56 seater,so 56. If you cram some people in the aisles you could probably fit 65 if you didn't care about anyone's comfortability sheesh you might even for in 100 or more.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the man enter the fridge? He was hot Why is the man not in the chicken shop Hes in the fridge

thumb_up thumb_down

A man and his young child walk into a clinic to get physical check-up. The man learns from the physicist he doesn't mater. His wife remarries and start having frequent sex and the child is scarred for life. This is irrelevant because both parents don't exist and this is all a constant delusion in an psychiatric hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down

Justin Bieber walks into a bar. He is soon kicked out as he is underage.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: where was Johnny during the bombing? A: everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down

An over weight person is diagnosed with anorexia they used to be fatter

thumb_up thumb_down

A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

thumb_up thumb_down

0000000010000000000000001000000000000000000000011111111000000000111111000000000000000000011111000000000000011100000000000000000000000000000000100000000000000000000000000000000000000001000000000000000000000000000000000000000011100000000000000000000000000000000000000111100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001111111111111111100000000000000000000000001000000000000001000000000000000000000000001000000000000100000000000000000000000000001111111111111000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 SMILE

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a white man? A caucasian male.

thumb_up thumb_down

YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

thumb_up thumb_down

A bear walks into a bar. Everyone evacuates as animal control safely asses the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down

what did the teacher say to his student? do your work.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call an earthquake on Mars? There is not enough water on planet Mars for something like that to happen.

thumb_up thumb_down

what did the black women name her child jamaal

thumb_up thumb_down

What is the only non-racist animal? The mexican panda. Why? It's black, white, hispanic, and asian.

thumb_up thumb_down

A serial killer walks into a bar... He is finally arrested after killing several people within the bar, goes to court, and it was decided that he is suffering from a rare case of maddening schizophrenia, and sent indefinitely to a mental hospital...

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the difference between a horse and a chicken? They're different species and also the chicken is female, while the horse I was referring to is male.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops