What's worse than having a retarded baby? Not having a baby

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Why did the girl break her leg? Because I pushed down the staircase.

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Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear, fuzzy wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy had no hair because he had cancer and died 3 weeks later.

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Bob has 80 chocolate bars, he gives 5 to his uncle,10 to his mother and 8 to his freind. He then eats 40 chocolate bars. Q. How many chocolate bars has bob got left now? A. Bob has no chocolate bars left. Shortly after Bob ate 40 bars he was diagnosed with diabetes. He then died of a heart attack due to high cholesterol.

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what is black and is a really bad neighbor. your bad neighbor wearing a black shirt.

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whats the difference between a dead dog and a dead black guy there were skid marks in front of the dead dog

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Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense, Refrigerator Sex

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Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit! I can talk too!"

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A baby seal walks into a club. He immediately escorted out because babies are not allowed in clubs.

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If you don't see banners here, it doesn't mean they are not there...

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What do you call a black midget in space? The first true example of how hard work, dedication and sacrifice can help you to achieve your goals.

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what do you call some one with no arms and no legs? names.

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Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. The first polar bear says, "Pass the soap." The second polar bear replies, "No soap, radio." OMG YOU DON'T GET IT?!?!?!?! NOOB

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How often do you remember a dream? Well what if I told you that this is a dream go ahead pinch your arm. You probably didn't feel pain. And just incase jump out a fifth story window. Come on do it. Now if you are still reading this you are either dreaming or didn't jump out the window. Shame on you!!!!!!

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What is not a car park? Clash of clans

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How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb? None they're dead.

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You know what would be funny? If the Incredible Hulk asked Spiderman to change his diaper.

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Q: What did the floor say to the Christmas tree? A: Your balls are hanging.

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hey hey apple

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Mexicans don't use lightbulbs because they can't afford them.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This is a poem, Penis knuckle.

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"I have a job perfromance review today!" Earl told his wife. "Good luck, I will make you a special dinner tonight," Melinda, his wife, responded.

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What do you call a man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk? A man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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