Customer Service "May I help you?" "Yes."

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My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Reading re-posts of classic anti jokes posted by lonely teenagers.

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MURRRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, WHO THE HELL $#!T IN MY GARDEN?!

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What happens when you throw a blue rock into red water? It gets wet...

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what starts with b and ends with b? The bomb i just planted in your house.

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National security?

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy. But I have Alzheimer's... Hey, I just met you...

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An Asian man walked to P.F. Changs, and asked where the bathroom is.

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Q: Why did the grandma forget to take her pills? A: She died in a tornado

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Say the line below all very fast to get sudden strange sensation... Magic-ish. I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... ...BARKBARK BARK BARK BARK BARK! Done? Now sit Down, have a little treat Good boy/girl! :Look well at the sun, the jagged Blackness will consume all, Your little star forever but a ever fading memory.

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A blonde asks, "How come i cant get this to go in there?" However no one replies because no one is there.

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So, a man walks into a bar. Suddenly, the universe around him cracks, unable to sustain the weight of infinite potential punchlines. He tumbles through an empty void amongst shards of his broken reality.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? He wasn't.

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My mother's star sign was Cancer. Ironic how she died really. She was attacked by a giant crab.

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Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

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Q: Why did Katie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock, Knock Who's There? Not Katie.

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What's brown and sticky? Feces.

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Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

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Hello! I am Harry Potter, and i will be teaching you pottery today! Yes, call me Mr. Pottery!

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What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

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what did batman say to robin to get him into the car? Get in the car

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What did the black man say when a blond walked into the bar? " Hi Molly"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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