How do you kill a ninja? Shoot him with a sniper rifle from a building. How do you make sure he's dead? Shoot him twice.

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What's the hardest part of rollerblading? Telling your dad you're gay.

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What is annoying and uses another language? Spanish class!

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What is white and can fly? A fridge that can't fly.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin right before they got in the b\Batmobile? A: "Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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On a scale of 1 to 10, how high are you? Very.

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Sam slept and never woke up again.. Because he followed his dream.

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What do you get when you put a woman in a room with 4 guys? She gets Gang Banged.

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"Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's parents?" "No" "Neither has he"

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's And add extra pepperoni

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A White, a Mexican, and a Chinese guy all take a boat to go exploring.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Teenage pregnancy.

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What did the boy eat for lunch? - His mother.

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Friends, they're like food. If you eat them, they die.

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Hellen Kellers dad put a plunger in the toiler and left it there. Hellen Keller went to use the bathroom and.. moved the plunger so she could take a shit.

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why did the child kill his mother because the child gave his mom AIDS

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An alligator was found wearing a vest. The investigator had no comment... As alligators are incapable of speech. ^^^

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Damn, I was gonna do my laundry but Amanda Todd drank all my bleach

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NeroChan, I have said nothing to you, that you have not taught me, if nothing else you have indirectly inspired yourself, you will get back on your feet, you just need to take one step at the time, I know how ambitious you are, but you always focused on helping others, hiding, seeing yourself as a sinking ship, trying to help as many as possible before you pass away. We can work trough this together, it is easy to figure out that you are trying to protect others from what you feel that you have become, something that cannot be repaired, something that was never meant to be fixed, but to be used until it had no more to give.

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Q. What do you get when you mix eggs, mashed potatoes and salt? A. A pretty good batter for mashed potato pancakes.

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cchina is communist the USA isnt WHY?

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What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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