Why did the boy drop his ice cream...?? Because he got hit by a white van

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I love pissing people off :P

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Why was the Magic: The Gathering player a virgin? Because he was underage and it would have been immoral for him to have had sex.

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What did the deaf-blind kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What do you call a fat guy running on the street? Nothing because you should respect his effort trying to improve his health.

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Friends are like trampolines, I always wanted a trampoline

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Safety in numbers? Try telling that too six million Jews.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None...they can cook in the dark.

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Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? He tried to cross the road.

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Why are Pine trees green? Because light reflects at different wavelengths, and the chlorophyll, found in chloroplasts, being abundant in the needles of pine trees, Reflect the correct wavelength for green.

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What is black, white and red all over? Something that pertains those characteristics

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One day there was 3 bears, a papa bear, a mama bear, and a baby bear. They were out swimming when suddenly a girl comes over to their house and tries to sit down. She sits on the big chair and says "too big", then she sits on the little chair and says "too small" and then sits on the medium chair and says "just right". Suddenly, the bears come back. Papa bear: "somebody has been sitting on my chair!" Baby bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair too!" Mama bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair, and she still here!" The girl says "Hi my name is Goldilocks." After about few minutes introducing each other, they ate dinner and they all had a great time.

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What was so sad about the white woman who dropped her Starbucks? It fell on her baby in a nearby stroller giving it third degree burns, disfiguring its face.

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what's worse than falling and scraping your knee? living within a 10 mile radius of a Japanese nuclear reactor

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whats long and black? a baton

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Your Mom was so fat he made herself Liposuction Twice

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What do you get when you cut a stick of butter? a butt.

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If a bunch of midgets do the wave, is it a ripple ?

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If these walls could talk - the public would pay large sums of money to see this marvel of science. On a more serious note, they might also tell the cops about the many dead hookers stowed within them.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a bus on the way over.

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Who went shopping on Saturday? There is a reason I put a question mark there, so you guys could reply. Not so I could respond myself.

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How come Helen Keller never played professional baseball? Because she was a woman

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How does a man with no arms and legs get to your door. After asking his name please help us out with this question

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops