Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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what did the pregnant women get? A miscarriage

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what's the difference between a duck? one leg's the same.

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Your mother is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it read quite a large number. She resolved to live healthier and exercise more.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -It's just Linda from nextdoor. -Oh hi Linda come on in.

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What's sadder than a lost puppy? A dead puppy.

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What do you call a guy with no arms or legs laying on your driveway? You call him by his name

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Who enslaves small people and forces them to work in his factory all year round in ridiculous outfits. Santa

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Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -Because he was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? -He was stapled to the first one Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? -He thought it was a game Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? -He had no arms Why did the girl fall off her bike? -She was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator

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Showcasing you? Really? I am tired too, yeah its daytime here as well, sleep well then. Hey, by the way, when you where like posting a lot of weird comments, where you trying to impress me?

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Q: What do sleeping pills and coffee have in common? A: Absolutely nothing

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knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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a. why? b. because I wanted

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I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

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You go to the Anti Joke website, what do you find under the "newest" section? Black jokes.

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What does an Asian person with 3 eyes have? A birth defect.

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What's the best way to get high without doing drugs? Jump.

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How did 6-year old dyslexic boy start his essay on soap? Sopa is shit...

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what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

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How do you rape someone? No, its a question. I don't know the best way to go about this.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, he found his tractor and went back to work.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because it broke...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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