- Anti Joke

Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school? Both of his legs were amputated. He can't ride a bike ever again.

Why did the tomato fall off the swing? Because tomatoes don't have arms.

How much does a polar bear weigh? About 800 pounds

Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

What is both bold and brash? Fox

A Jew and a Neo-Nazi meet in a bar. They put aside their differences and enjoy a few rounds of drinks.

knock knock. who's there? interupting doctor. interupting doctor who....you have cancer.

what's the difference between eric bristow and colin baker? eric bristow is brilliant at darts.

Person 1: So now that were friends on facebook, you wanna hang out? Person 2: No I'd rather not.

what did the kid with no hair get for christmas? cancer.

Your momma is so dumb that her IQ is 3 standard deviations below that of an average person.

Somebody has robbed your house, how do you gather evidence? Look for traces of watermelon or chicken bones.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

How are a black man and a banana similar? They are both intelligent human beings, except for the banana.

What does Michael have in common with NASA? Not a lot.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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How do you tick off a Doctor? You cut off his right thumb.

What do you get when you mix a Refrigerator with a dog? Nothing. That would be impossible.

Roses are red, My name is Dave, This poem makes no sense, Microwave.

What do you call Anne Franks life? A big game of hide and go seek.

Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he's usually in a good mood.

Why did the black man take the watermelon? Because he bought it, and watermelons are delicious.

What has eyes but can't see? A blind person.

Why was the fat man crying? He was sentenced to the electric chair for a murder he didn't commit.

Why couldn't the married couple have sex? They were lesbians who were saving up a sex change.