Roses are red, Violets are blue, Haiku doesn't rhyme, And neither does this

How do you make a dead baby float? Two scoops of vanilla ice cream and two scoops of dead baby.

Y' can't spell rape without ape.

hwhy did the monkey fall out of the tree? he got shot. why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? he was nailed to the first one.

What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

how many friends does tomas have 0 he is a loner

Why did the man go to Cantabria, Spain? Because he liked potatoes... jk

Past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense!

roses are red, violets are blue, poems are stupid, refridgerator

Reality is often boring. TV is often bad for you. Reality TV is boring AND bad for you.

Why did Doris need a hip replacement Because she fell down the stairs

So these two guys walk into a bar... Well, I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mother a whore.

What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

One day a black guy bought some fried chicken. The clerk said: Lol you guys always eat chicken! Lol said the black guy, yeah I am here a lot. Clerk: No I meant your kind of you know... I KNOW WHAT? Clerk: You guys at the studio next door! Oh, yeah, lol I almost thought you meant my skin color! Clerk: You fucking Negroes always thinking we are racist...

What did Timmy's mom think of his art project? Nothing, she screamed and called an ambulance because she saw that he had tripped and fallin onto a pair of scissors and they just so happened to peirce his heart.

why was six afraid of seven? it's a long story, and six doesn't want to talk about it.

What do Chinese kids have that African kids dont? Chinese citizenship and at least one Chinese parent.

A baby seal walks into a club.

what did the lamp say to the woman Nothing, a lamp is a plastic glass and metal inaminate object therfore it can not speak

Knock, Knock! Who`s there? Your mama`s stupid! Your mama`s stupid who? Your mama`s stupid as a rock! I` m going to cut your eyes out and use them as baseballs!

What day is it today? It's "Jack Daniels Day" according to that guy with the shopping cart filled with kittens.

Why did Johnathan drop his popsicle? He was hit by a bus. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Johnathan

Wanna hear a hot headed retard? call and listen carefully 6196342668

What do black people do with M&Ms? They eat them.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...