Why did the sloth cross the road? To murder your whole family.

What do you call a fish with no eye? A fsh

French people.

How do you get a beautiful woman to go to bed with you? "How?" It's not a joke, it's a legitimate question!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because a man holding a shotgun was chasing him

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is legally blind

What's worse than 20 babies stapled to one tree? One baby stapled to 20 trees.

your fat

blubber vaginass CC

what was postman pat's name before he was a postman? Pat.

did the dog explode? because it didn't have a bum hole

What's 1+1? 4.

how many Alzheimer's patients does it take ti screw in a lightbulb? to get to the other side

My hair is thin, therefore the person beside me wears oddly looking clothes CC

How do you stop an assassin? Kill their target

A woman goes into the supermarket and buys a single banana, a canned meal for one and some ice cream. While paying for her items, the cashier looks up at her and says "I can tell you're single" "Oh yeah? How'd you know?" The woman asks. "Because you're ugly as fuck." Replies the cashier.

balls in ya mouf

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a snake in your liver. Because that could be hazardous to your health.

What's 6+2? 16

What's the difference between a bucket of shit and a black guy? -the bucket.

Two ducks are in a pond. The one duck asks, "Can you pass the soap?" The other duck says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?"

Why did lady gaga set her alarm? So she could get up in the morning.

Why did the baby cross the road? I don't know but it got hit by a semi during.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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