WHat is the one thing an alcoholic needs everyday? Rehab.

Why are you here? Because i'm not over there!

...Jack Vale

What is funnier than shooting a man in the face? Most things, shooting a man in the face is a terrible crime.

Why was the mouse flying? Because an Owl picked it up, carried it to a tree and ate it.

Yesterday I caught my 4year old son shaving, trying to be like his dad. Sadly, he accidently sliced through the main artery supplying blood to his brain and bled to death in my arms.

Carlton

Black people are innocent.

A duck walks into a bar and says he needs to buy a hammer. The bartender tells him that he's probably looking for the hardware store across the street. The duck realizes that he's disoriented again and should listen to his wife's many pleadings to get back on his medication.

Wanna hear a joke? No.

What's black and white and red all over? A Giant Panda that has been killed by poachers.

Why did the baby cross the street? It was stapled to the chicken

8=>

There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. Then he woke with a fright In the middle of the night And thought about what a strange dream he was having.

what do an elephant, a fishook, and a spaceship have in common? absolutely nothing

Rick Perry.

What do iPhones and Nokias have in common The nokia is indestructible. I lied about the iPhone

ceiling mounted bonerss CC

What do you call a man that was decapitated by a stray saw blade? An ambulance until when you have a reality check and realize that in the mass hysteria of witnessing such a horrific event that this man is already dead. You then callan undertaker, his family and his friends to attend his funeral in a week or so. You then walk over to him and cry.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He didn't. He slowly ate it on a warm day although it's taste was somewhat of a disappointment.

cc

What is a cow's favorite place to go? The slaughterhouse.

Why don't blind people skydive? They do.

Jews who wear penny loafers...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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