Your mother is so fat, that she's working really hard to get back in shape so that she can support her family.

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A black man is playing guitar for a white man and a chinese man. After he is finished playing the white man and chinese man compliment him on his nice playing.

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1+1= 69

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A man walks into a bar. He's blind.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Me: so Megan did it hurt Megan fox: did what hurt? Me: when ur aged face wasn't good enough for the new transformers movie?

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Q: Whats worse then being murdered? A: Nothing

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You know what happens when you assume. You jump to a conclusion that could conceivably have severe consequences.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Dead.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Thousands upon thousands upon thousands of dying infants.

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A man from florida and a woman from florida go to a restaurant, which isnt very popular.

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Q: What do cooks do for a living? A: Eh muffin.

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Why is the sky red in London? Fire.

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: It doesn't matter, the lightbulb never went out in the first place.

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You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

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Yo' momma's so fat that when she steps on the scales the number seen to appear is proportionately larger than that seen to appear when the average human steps on them.

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Anti jokes are funny

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a Mormon knocked on my front door three times, and i took three seconds to answer, whe shook hands for three seconds. how many dead kittens can fit in my blender?

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cc

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What did the lion say the the zebra? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak and therefore could not make conversation with said zebra, hunted it down, killed it, and shared it with his pride of 27.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side why didnt the chicken cross back? for the first time in his life, Clucky the chicken, felt liberated. his cruel life flashed before his eyes, forcing him to remember all the bad tines he had spent on the McKinley farm. all the eggs stolen from him, watching all his friends being taken for slaughter. it all came back. from the other side of the road, Clucky saw a place he never wanted to go back to, a place he wanted to forget. the day he chose not to cross back was the first real day in Clucky's life.

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There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. Then he woke with a fright In the middle of the night And thought about what a strange dream he was having.

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What does a baseball and a T-Rex have in common? What? Neither of them is a carrot.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road... Because he got hurt last week while crossing the road.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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