How do you get Jack to fall of his bike? Push him off

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Your momma's so fat: She has found a value in relationships beyond an aesthetic level.

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Man: "Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?" The waiter shrugs and walks away. The restaurant is subsequently shut down because the man was a health inspector and also found evidence of rodents in the kitchen.

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Knock knock... Whos there? The IRS, we are taking your house.

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To murder your whole family.

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I had a dream I watched Inception.

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There are three men in a canoe traveling upstream. One wheel falls off. How many pancakes fit in a doghouse? 9, because ice-cream has no bones.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a serial rapist with a violent temper.

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Fat chickens enjoy stepping on doorknobs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because a man holding a shotgun was chasing him

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your fat

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blubber vaginass CC

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what was postman pat's name before he was a postman? Pat.

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Have you heard the one about the drunk cleaning lady? I haven't either but I bet it is good. That is a pretty good premise for a joke.

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what's the difference between babies and a trampoline? I take my shoes off to jump on a trampoline.

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how many Alzheimer's patients does it take ti screw in a lightbulb? to get to the other side

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My hair is thin, therefore the person beside me wears oddly looking clothes CC

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What is green but looks like a silver car? A silver car....I lied about the green part.

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I love you.

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A woman goes into the supermarket and buys a single banana, a canned meal for one and some ice cream. While paying for her items, the cashier looks up at her and says "I can tell you're single" "Oh yeah? How'd you know?" The woman asks. "Because you're ugly as fuck." Replies the cashier.

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How do you stop an assassin? Kill their target

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whats the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? i dont have a ferrari in my garage

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a snake in your liver. Because that could be hazardous to your health.

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I like jokes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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