How do you wake Lady GaGa up? set her alarm for a reasonable hour.

How do you keep a woman entertained? A delightful romantic comedy

shoe and shoelace. one is meaningless without the other

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was wearing a shirt depicting a skull, something six had an irrational phobia of.

what are you eating under there? oh a sandwich, its actually really good.... want a bite? yea thanks! yum yum

What is bad at catch The twin towers

What do you call a chav in a box It depends what kind of a box If it is a coffin you call him dead If he is in a cardboard box you call him homeless It really just depends

I rolled and evaded the bomb, I still was injured.

What's worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings. What's worse than 2 bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Hoocaust? 3 bee stings.

Oh...okay, good.

What's black and white and red all over? A bleeding penguin.

There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

to see a bad joke look above

How do you make a clown stop smiling? You kill his family.

NEVER

what do u call a black person a black person dehh

Why did the deer hunter shoot a deer? He told his wife he bought a new TV.

Why did the white man rub the black man's hair for good luck? Because it's good luck to rub a black man's hair.

So, a black guy walked into a bar. "Ouch," he said.

When did the War of 1812 begin? 1963.

An american, a mexican, and an asian are on a boat. The boat is sinking because it is too heavy. The people decide to throw off things that they have a lot of in their country. The asian throws rice off the boat saying, "We have plenty of rice at home." The mexican throws tacos off the boat saying, "We have plenty of tacos at home." The american throws out the mexican saying, "We have plenty of mexicans at home."

A black man walks into a Subway restaurant, and goes up to the counter. The cashier already knows that he's going to order the chicken, but how does he know? Because the black man is a regular, and orders the same thing every time.

How are Steve Jobs and the iPhone similar? They both keep getting thinner as time goes on.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being raped by a giant scorpion

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...