Knock Knock? WHAT?!?!?

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What blue and red? poop in a saggy bag

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Hey Patrick Yea? I found something funnier then 24 Give to me buddy 25

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? One walks on the moon and the other f*cks little boys.

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Why did the Sara fall off the swing, Because she had no arms. Knock, knock Who's there not sara.

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Zach Murfitt has a small Willy!

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whats worse than one bee sting... two bee stings whats worse than two bee stings... the holocaust whats worse than the holocaust... three bee stings

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The iPhone5. It's kinda Gay

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What do you call a video game nerd who insists on sitting at home all day not going out or thinking of others except for beating the level or killing the creature or leveling that skill or completely ignoring his civic duties? Accepted

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How do make a boy cry? You cut off his eyelashes

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A horse walks in a bar. Several people leave seeing the potential danger in the situation.

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What did the first muffin say to the second? Nothing. Muffins can't talk, you idiot.

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How do you cure AIDS? You can't.

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What do you call your mother? Mom.

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A scottish man having fun

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What's red and green? A frog in a blender!

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Women's rights

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't; by the time Keller owned her first dog, she was an adult with exceptional communicative abilities for one with her condition. She frequently wrote about her beloved dogs and is even credited with introducing the Akita breed to the United States. If her dog had run away, it would be unlikely that she would have been allowed further dogs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being raped by a giant scorpion

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Which is the closest animals to humans? Black people (nig3gers)

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what has wings, bald but doesn't fly? a bald eagle... i lied at the flying part because i'm a f*cking lier from hell watching porn all day with my brother...

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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Why did the girl drop her lolly pop? She was hit by a bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops