A man on his 21st birthday walks into a bar. He orders a piña colada. The bartender then replies "Sorry we do not sell piña coladas here." In disappointment, the man decides to order a different alcoholic drink and later becomes an alchoic for 20 years until he breaks his obsession and remarries his wife and has 5 kids. He then had a great life and died at age 92. He will be missed by his wife and children.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Pilot: We need to lighten the load of this plane Italian: I'll throw out these pizzas, there are too many of them in my country Mexican: I will throw out these tacos, there are just too many of them in my country The american stares in horror at the two men, the pizza and tacos were their only food and they were lost in the Himalayas.

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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I've got 99 problems and they're all stressing me out and causing me to be very unhappy.

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I know 7 facts about you: 1. You're reading this. 2. You hate this overused shit. 3. You may think I will skip a number. 5. And you hate me much more. 6. You have seen porn. 7. You want me to kill myself. I am just gonna go suicide.

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when there's trouble lurking in your neighbourhood, who you gonna call? The local authorities.

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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a horse walks into a bar. the barman asks "why the long face". not understanding human language, the horse takes a shit, neighs then leaves

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DAVID.B YOU O ES 2 BAR YA TRAMP

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What did the homeless kid get for Christmas? Hypothermia.

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Why did the Jew lock the chest? Because that's where he was hiding the body.

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What would you call the flinstones if they were black? Ni**gers

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What do you call a Muslim on a plane? A passenger, you racist bastard.

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knock knock , who is there the postman the postman who ? the postman who is gonna give you a bill !

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What is black and hangs on a rope next to a rebel flag in my back yard? A tire swing for my redneck kids to swing on.

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What's a lil plus a lot A little more then a lot

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96

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Q. What is the answer to life the universe and everything A. 42

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What's worse than falling out of a tree and landing on a dog? Rape.

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what do you call a bunch of black people in a pool cocoa puffs

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Your Mom The End.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? - Nothing This homeless man got a gift for his Birthday. What happened to the gift? - It got stolen the following day What did this homeless man get for New Year? - Still nothing Get real.

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women are like puzzles because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote, puzzles still don't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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