Sir, do you know what time it is? Yes, it is 5:15 PM

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What do you call someone trying to be funny? An anti-comedian.

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A husband said to his wife, "If you want to have sex, stroke my penis one time. If you don't want to have sex, just say so and I will respect your decision, though I may be disappointed."

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Boy: Hey girl if I had hand-cuffs, I’d lock myself to you right now! Girl: I would find that extremely creepy.

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What walks on the three legs? Martin, he was born with a tragic birth defect and struggles to make a living.

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well he graduated in four years with a degree in chemical engineering. He worked hard all four years in order to keep his scholarship to the university. Now he leads a very successful life and lives in a large house with his wife and two children.

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How many times have I said the word shingles? twelve.

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Don't worry about giving me your phone number, I'll just follow you home later.

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How I Met Your Mother, starring Oedipus Rex

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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what in the world is smarter than the world's smartest man? Nothing he is the smartest man.

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if you have a name/nickname/brand/version or number, please like this anti joke

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GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT i farted. : l

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What’s worse than taking a bite out of your apple and finding a worm? Taking a bite out of your apple and finding half a worm.

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What would happen if Obama got reelected? The economy would turn to shit.

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Why is my son so unhappy? Because I beat his mother violently in front of him

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The declaration of Independence was singed in? Pen.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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why did the black child cry? strange men cut his penis off

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Your mother's breasts sag so low that the late great impressionist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

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why was the boy crying? cause an elephant tusked him up the ass

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what do you call a black person with no legs or arms? A poor man that clearly was inflicted very badly.

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rose are red so is u want to know why because i shot her

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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