A man walks into a bar with a monkey..I forget the rest but your mother is a whore.

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What's slow and spotted? A cheetah, I lied about the slow part

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Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

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Roses are red, yup.

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What's black, white and red all over? A race war

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Chose to describe yourself: Green thumb: Tall wealthy, good looking, intelligent man with a model wife, a ferrari expensivo, a hotel just for yourself. Red thumb: A below average piece of shit? Green thumb? Dont lie to me you piece of sh*t!

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A man walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender then lights him on fire.

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When life gives you lemons you squirt them in someones eyes and steal what life gave them.

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Roses are red Violets are blue If you are reading this Then it must be deja vu

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What do you call a person with cancer A hospital patient, what did you expect? Oh. Of course you expected Chewbacca.

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Cornflakes were an accident, so was Chernobyl

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven they say nothing to eachother because they are muffins and cannot speak if they did they would most likely be taken by the US government and studied and assumed to be alien life forms but anyway the muffins were taken out later and presumably eaten

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Can you spot the polar bear Probably not because global warming killed it

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Ask me if I'm a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN WHAT'S THE ANSWER?! WHAT DO YAH MEAN YA DUNNO?!

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a guy went to a bar and ordered a molotov cocktail. he died.

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How can a man go 8 days without sleeping? Sleep at night.

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What happened when the boy got caught with his hand in the cookie jar? He gets shot in the face by Santa.

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I wumbo, you wumbo, he, she, wumbo, wumbology the study of wumbo

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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How did the little boy get out of the forest? -He didnt, he was devoured by a pack of wovles.

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Why is sally sad her parents abuse her daily

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Sex

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What do you call a fat guy running on the street? Nothing because you should respect his effort trying to improve his health.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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