A horse walks into the bar. The bartender asks "why the long face" Turns out the horse's family died that evening.

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blargen fa-diddle nachen!

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Whats the best day of the week? Sponge

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a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

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What did Mary say to Vishnikharmut? You're name is weird. What did Vishnikharmut say to Mary? Your grammar is incorrect.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave was beginning to get very scared of his best friend at this time, so he ran away panicking.

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whats wores than eating a vag. a gaint vag eating you.

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John: Knock knock Jack: Who's there? John: Whale Jack: I don't know a Whale, go away. John violently rips off Jack's cock in becaus he's sick of his shit.

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Why did John get hard? He froze to death

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Roses are red, violets are red. Aaaaaahh! My garden's on fire!

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Freddie Mercury died of AIDS. Many consider him a musical hero.

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Why do the man leave his tv on? He was murdered while he was watching tv

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken a month off from working in their law firm. The mexican man, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

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Your mom came to my house last night. We played chess.

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If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

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Whats better than winning an award? Not having your family shot to death

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Why can't Michel Jackson play chess? He's dead

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Why was 7 afraid of 6, because 6 raped 5

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What did the bad boy get for Christmas? Incurable cancer.

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Who is the most famous black person? Michael Jackson, except he's not black.

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What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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