Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

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So a little girl walked into a bar... A concerned adult then told the bartender. The bartender's name was Jim. Jim then asked the girl if she knew her phone number. The little girl said nothing and the bar tender was perplexed at the petrified look on the girls face. Jim the bartender then called the police and explained the situation.Once the girl was brought back to the police station it was learned that she had been missing for three months in a nearby county. The police then return to the bar to find that the owner had multiple kidnapped little girls in a cage under the bar that only he and the kidnapped girls knew about before the cops and Jim the bartender discovered it. The police then arrested The owner of the bar. He stood trial and was senteced to death row, he remains there today.

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Q: What happens when eight men throw purple at a rain coat? A: Mud-flaps, because electricity can't power a vagina.

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Whats Barack Obama's favorite number ? 7

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Why is Obama Care a lie? Cuz he doesn't care!

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Why did the teenager turn in his work on time? He chose not to procrastinate.

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in·fun·dib·u·lum? 1. a funnel-shaped organ or part. 2. a funnel-shaped extension of the hypothalamus connecting the pituitary gland to the base of the brain. 3. a space in the right ventricle at the base of the pulmonary artery.

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Q: Why did the Little girl fall off the swing set? A: She was Shot in the face.

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Sir, do you know what time it is? Yes, it is 5:15 PM

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Patient: Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! Doctor: That's because you are. Patient: Wow, I need to lay off the mushrooms.

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What's worse than getting no up-votes on an anti-joke? Getting down votes

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whats worse than getting bit by a tick. getting bit by a deer tick that as lyme disease.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Q: What happened when Cupid shot his arrow into the guys heart? A: He died

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stinky boner

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knock knock whos there? steve oh hi steve please come in

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What do you call a man who only eats fast food? Unhealthy.

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Why did the Jewish cross the road? He didn't he died in Holocaust.

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Wow, that is one of the things I would think I would react all bad to, but that`s, a strangely attractive quality in you.

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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whats the difrence between santa clause and a jew santa goes down the chimney

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What was the best part of the holocaust? A: none of it, it was a terrible event in history and hopefully is never repeated

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I GOT YOUR BUTT PUSSY!

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Q: Whats the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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