KOOKABURRA

How do you get the pesky neighborhood kids off your front lawn? Molest them.

Why didn't Cheryl's mother recognize her when she was wearing a blue shirt and jeans? Because Cheryl's mother has Alzheimer's.

Why did Mexico enter the war? Because they were bombed.

What did the physicist say when he got his penis stuck in a test tube? Ah jeesh! I got my penis stuck in a test tube.

So I says to the guy "take the money and run." He then takes my money and walks down the street.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

Why did the girl fall off of her swing? Because she had no arms.

Your mother is so ugly, her genes were passed down through two generations, and now your children are of a similar caliber of ugliness. I'm so sorry.

Why was Samuel L. Jackson so tired of those motherf***ing snakes on that motherf***ing plane? Because if snakes are loose on a plane, they might bite you.

Yo momma so stupid, she had you.

A mexican fast food worker accidentally drops a cheeseburger on the ground. Realizing the floor is most likely unsanitary, he throws it out and gets the customer a new one.

What did the Jewish girl do when I asked for her number? Roll up her sleeve...

What happened to the vegetarian when he tried outdoor survival He died due to lack of energy because of his refusal to eat meat and or any living substance

Why is a dog smarter than a human? Because you an asshole if you believe me

a man walks into a casino, it's the third time this week and he's contemplating suicide.

Robin, get in the car, please.

What do you call a black man holding a stone with bloody hands A hard working stone mason

What's worse than Twilight? New Moon. What's worse than New Moon? Eclipse. What's worse than Eclipse? Breaking Dawn. What's worse than Breaking Dawn? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Breaking Dawn Part 2.

My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

A man walks into a bar He's an alcoholic and it's ruining his family

Sloths

In soviet Russia, your dead because it doesn't exist anymore

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the marginal benefit of doing so exceeded the marginal cost.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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