How do you stop R Kelly from peeing on little girls? Kill all little girls.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? It's Jim. Jim who? I'm your son, Jim. Are you losing your memory?

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Q. If you have 4 pencils and I have 7 apples, how many pancakes can we fit on the roof? A. Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

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Why was the Jewish man in jail? He lit a local CVS on fire.

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Abortion.

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Jack and Jeff went up a hill to fetch a pail of water, They both turned gay, and had some sex, and now they have HIV

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What's the difference between a pizza and a girl? I've stuck my penis in a pizza

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If life hands you lemons you're probably hallucinating

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a toothpick

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how do you upset an obese cat? you put her in dog sweaters

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There are 3 types of people, those that can count and those who can not.

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Question: What do you call the black guy wearing a white shirt? Answer: Steve. His parents game him the name at birth, and he is called that ever since.

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Several ways to annoy people: Grab the end of their shirt to blow your nose Try to shove a bowling ball down there throat Try to sell them a broom and vacuum Try to eat their babies paint their toe Nibble their ankles Ask if you can babysit their crystal and if they say no start whining Carry around your chicken and ask if they want a nugget

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Remember when Jesse Ziegenbein was skinny? yeah niether do I

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What is the difference between a black man and a bench A bench can support a family of five

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What is Yellow and American? A yellow american

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-How do you kill a douche? -You stab him untill he cries out in mercy and stops moving.

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"I know it. I can feel it in my nuggets." -Chicken Joe

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What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

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a man walked into a bar he had no recollection of entering the bar so he exited the bar

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What has 4 legs and doesn't move? A child born in Chernobyl.

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What looks like a rainbow but isn't seen in the sky? A drawing of a rainbow

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? statutory rape

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Oh, well if you want, I would like for you to tell her that I wish her good health, suddenly it sounds like I am speaking with spider man here, so you could balance on the top of a tower like a ninja and stuff?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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