A man walks into a bar... He has a severe drinking problem, and his wife weeps for him

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What's the deal with airline food? Food tastes different on an airplane. The atmosphere dries out your nose, the air pressure numbs 1/3 of your taste buds, and low humidity levels give you cotton mouth. These factors cause the food to taste worse than it normally would.

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The teacher asked: If you have two apples, and I give you two, how many do you have now? FOUR said the student.

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What do you call the offspring of an elephant? A baby elephant.

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Why can't a cat fly Because it doesn't have wings.

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A Jew man gets on a train. He sits down and a hour and a half later he is dropped of at his proper destination.

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Two black guys walk into a bar. One of them was white.

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Q: What's white and sticky? A: Glue.

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Two lions are walking down the street. One lion says to the other, "where is everybody?"

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what is red, white, and spins around real fast? a baby in a washing machine

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Q: What's big, yellow and can't swim? A: A school bus full of children.

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good looking women

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What did the traffic light say to the car? Bye.

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Q: Buttsex? A: Butsex!

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i like candy and other things that are edible... please dont thumbs down just cuz this suxxx just put thumbs up and santa claus will haunt u :)

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Q: What's the best way to satisfy your hunger A: Eat

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

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What did the giraffe say to the other giraffe. Nothing, giraffes are animals and thus cannot speak

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what did the little girl with no legs and no arms get for christmas? Cancer

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What did the man do with his cat? he threw it in the garbage because he didn't like it

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Did you hear about the blonde that crashed her car? No. Is she okay?

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What's black and yellow and flies? I dont know.

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If 1+1=2 why does 2+2 not equal 3?

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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