how do you confuse a blonde? ask if she wants a cake...then rape her

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I was taking a major shiit in the bathroom stalls at the college and someone walked in on me, talk about awkward

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A blonde went to a hair dresser's one day, listening to a walkman. The hair dresser asked her what she wanted, and the blonde replied, "I need to get my hair trimmed, just make sure that you do not take these headphones off." The woman looked at the blonde, surprised, but did as she was told. While she was brushing the blonde's hair, she accidentally bumped the headphones, knocking them to the ground. As she bent down to pick them up, the blonde fell over, onto the floor. The hair dresser was very confused. She picked up the head phones and listened. This is what she heard..."breath in...breath out...breath in...breath out..."!

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How can you tell I'm the biggest idiot in the room? Look at me.

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Two gophers are in a tank One of them says how the heck do you drive this thing?

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XD A COZY FIGHT XD WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? I am gonna kick your ass, break your face and then give you a kiss on the cheek as your mangled corpse bleeds out... XD :)) THANKS FOR THE LAUGHTER XD XD Reminds me of a former comment where you describe the local weather, you know, we do not live that far away from each other, hell it was actually the time, we are completely in the same timezone, so anyway, do you also get cartoon network on your television?

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An old man walks into a bar. It was, a metal cylinder, not unlike a short carbon rod, and not the drinking establishment he normally frequents, named O'Malley's Pub and Eatery, which was, in fact, next to the the building with the protruding metal bar. He suffered greater injury than a younger man due to his advanced age and deteriorating health. But he did eventually recover by strictly adhering to his doctor's advice of bed rest, improved diet, and increased, yet moderate, aerobic exercise.

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What the difference between a ferarri and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage. That would be murder.

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Q:When a T- Rex walks into your house what does it mean? A: Your on pot, T-rex's are extinct

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roses are grey violets are grey either i am a dog or i am color blind i cant tell im deaf go die in a hole

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What do you call a flat-chested woman with a penis? A man.

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Why not zoidburg? Because Zoidburg is a alien from another planet and the human population is probally afraid to talk to him do to the potential danger of alien contact.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, ask the chicken.

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My grandfather slipped on a banana peel. I helped him up.

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guess what>? your mum lol

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Timmy had to use the restroom in class one day, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I use the restroom?" The teacher said, "I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said'," When I was using 'can', I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier for asking for permission, as opposed to expressing ability. I though since you were a teacher you would know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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How did Harry potter open the door? He had the key

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What did the unicorn say to the horse? I have a horn and you don't.

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

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why does chuck norris not have a middle name? because his parents didn't want him to have one.

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What did the snoop dog have for breakfast? Weed

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What say the mirror if i look in it,? He died

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why are the Harold and Kumar movies really funny? the man who wrote obvieusly has a good sense of humor.

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In a nerd wedding they don't say "i do" They say "i accept the terms and conditions"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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