What do mermaids wear? Nothing. Mermaids don't exist

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Guy 1: Hey look under there Guy 2: Under what inanimate object that is physically visible and made up of atoms

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Why did the chiken cross the road? To bite a rubarb stick.

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what's black and white and red all over? a zebra in a blender

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Q. What did the barber say to the Italian kid? A. Do you want your hair cut or should I just change the oil.?

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what's funnier then 15? definitely not 14

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Why is Ian's name Ian? Because he was adopted

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What is blue and has wheels? A disabled Smurf!

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What do you call a lump on your penis? STD

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Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

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What do you call a dog with no legs? What ever you want, its still not going to come.

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A Jew walking in the street sees a homeless person asking for charity. He reaches to his pocket, grabs a penny, greets her with a nice smile and gives away the penny.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He never did because he's in KFC

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"Ask me if I'm a tree!" "Are you a tree?" "No."

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Q. Which is longer ... a rope ?

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Men's rights Because its an anti-joke

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Yo Momma is so fat, she often chooses to take the elevator instead of the stairs.

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why was the boy sad He was just abused by his parents and had aids

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Hamsters are a lot like cigarettes. They're completely harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire.

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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why wasnt nathan invited the party? nathan's been dead for 5 years

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why did sally drown? because she had no arms or legs and couldn't swim

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A woman walked into a bar. Many men laughed at this unthinkable notion because women belong in the kitchen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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