How do you get a black guy down from your tree? You can't, because there aint any.

What has nine arms and sucks? Four children with two arms snacking on a lollipop, and one child with one arm snacking on a lollipop.

Why was the girl running out of the school? Because her principal was trying to rape her.

My friend just phoned me from the Boston marathon. He was being taken to the hospital due to being injured by the explosions and had to have his leg amputated.

A door walks up with a knob what does the guy do? he opens the door

How many Italians does it take to change a light bulb....... 1

Want to hear an orphan joke? Knock Knock Who's there? Not your parents

a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

What would you get when you cross a bear and a shark? a highly improbable situation because sharks and bears live completely different environments.

whats sad about 3 black people driving a Cadillac over a cliff? that was my Cadillac

Knock Knock! Who's there? Your neighbor. Ok, Come in.

Q: humpty dumpty sat on a wall A: yeah right

All the other kids with the pumped up kicks died in a school shooting.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapeled to the chicken

I would tell you a joke about a blunt pencil but it's pointless

your momma's so ugly that she currently deals with an overwhelmingly self consciousness view of her appearance to the point where she has contemplated suicide and it is in your best interest to seek her medical help in order to preserve her heath and overall well being.

Roses are red, violets are blue, the little midget is coming for you. If you don't run and if you don't hide, you will probably be stepped on because of my incredible big size.

How many dead babies can you fit a bathtub??? It depends on how you slice them!

Q: what do you call a hooker you pay in spaghetti? A: a pasta-tute.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your balls chewed off by a rottweiler.

How do get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor.

What does the fox say? A scream-y howl. A shrill, hoarse scream of anguish, it sounds more than anything like a human baby undergoing some kind of physical torture.

Why was Barack Obama wearing a Justin Bieber T-Shirt and slapping you with a pitchfork? Because you didn't listen to me when I told you to stop doing shrooms

Man- Where can I find a book on the holocaust Book keeper- Have you tried comedy? Man- no I havent Book keeper- good it won't be there

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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