Why couldn't the turtle swim? Because he went too close to an oil spill, the petroleum got into his mouth and coated his lungs and he is now dead.

my wifes star sign is cancer, kinda ironic how she died really..... she got eaten by a giant crab.

Man 1: Did you hear that one about that girl who killed herself? Man 2: No Man 3: Yeah, neither did I

what happens when an Asian and a Jew get married. They have children.

Why did the little girl only walk half way across the street She fell into a man hole and died

Customer Service "May I help you?" "Yes."

Roses are red, violets are blue, your Mom is a fake, she adopted you!

"I'm terrible at writing jokes." -80% of the people on here.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Justin Bieber

Why can't the T-Rex give high fives? Because they are extinct.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, In Soviet Russia, Poem writes you.

Jacob Mckeand licks his gooch everynight. Some nights he even covers it in maple syrup. 'mmmmm' he thinks to himself as he licks his 7 inch gooch up and down.

what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

Why couldn't the morbidly obese man get on a cruise ship? He didn't have a ticket.

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? the holocaust

What is worst then 9/11? What? Tiger woods

What did the flower say to the flowerpot? Nice weather we're having

How do you keep your dog from running away? Put it on a leash.

why did your mom leave your dad because he was a drunk :l

A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

What's white and looks like paper? Paper

taking out the trash... at night

your dads so fat, he makes your mom look skinny.

what do you call a black guy with a bachelor's degree? by his first name, "Carl".

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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