Where do cows go on the weekends? The slaughterhouse.

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Why couldn`t Sally open the jar? Because she did not have thumbs.

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How many black people does it take to solve a complex physics equation? Trick question

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Yo mama is so old, that it's becoming apparent that she is most likely developing severe senial dementia

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6 in every 9 people find a dirty reference in every joke. This statistic is in fact false, as 5 in 9 people actually find a dirty reference.

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A dog walks into a bar. The owner got a fake service dog identification and everyone really enjoyed it.

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Why did the black guy have a bunch of marihuana? He was the owner of a shop that sold it for medical purposes.

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Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

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I like my coffee like i like my women, blonde with big boobs.

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Why couldn't the man make it to work? Because as he was leaving his apartment, he saw a gruesome murder on the street that was part of an ever-growing and evolving genocide. Quickly following this, he broke down into psychological turmoil and wandered aimlessly through the streets until he eventually reached a forest, where he was taken in by a wild boar and raised to believe in boar-gods. The man died peacefully while planting potatoes.

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What's big fat and ugly? A monster

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What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: WHERE'S MY TRACTOR?!

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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roses are red violets are blue i done your mom and i do you too

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas ? A treadmill

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What did the Muslim say to the Jew? Nothing, as he has been deaf since birth and is incapable of forming coherent speech.

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See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

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what happened to those kids sandusky raped? who cares

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What part of a vegetable are you not supposed to eat? His wheelchair.

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I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

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a horse walks into a bar. the bartender says "why the long face?". the horse answers..."i'm a horse"

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Hi, how are you doing? Good, yourself? Fine, thanks. Have a nice day. You too, bye.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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