the bully said, you're just small fries. the fries couldn't help it someone ordered a small!

Why did the boy get diagnosed with Cancer? I don't remember I have Alzheimers.

Roses are red, Violets aren't. This doesn't make sense. Potatoes and brown.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He did it for fitness.

What do you call black people in a pool? Healthy

Why couldn't tom concentrate on his homework? Because he was a loaf of bread.

How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died

What did little Timmy get for Christmas after he was diagnosed with leukemia? A gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond because he was interested in redecorating.

Knock Knock Who's There Not you... What? *Pulls out finger gun* *Screams BOOM!*

What do you call 5 black people being killed in a car crash? A terrible incident

What did the alcoholic tell his son? Don't do meth.

Four blondes began their road trip from NYC to Europe and promptly drowned.

How many Jews can you fit in a car? Statistically speaking, in a brief survey done by the United States Traffic Commission, they stated that a standard 4-door sedan had the highest percentile of drivers. So, in regards to the legal system, a person may only fit, in fact, 5 jews in a car.

How does a man with no legs cross a road? In his wheelchair.

What is the hottest day of the week? Wednesday

This planking craze is really taking over... my elderly nextdoor neighbour has been planking in her garden for three days straight!

I like my women like I like my coffee. Hot, black, liquid, and in a cup.

A man walks into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian quickly picks out such a book and hands it to him, because to deny him the book would break the conventions of a library.

A man is driving down the highway. He falls asleep at the wheel due to his case of narcolepsy, and dies in a fiery car crash.

A:why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side =D B:...i dont think you fully grasp the concept of an anti joke yet...smh -.-

What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

Roses are grey. Violets are grey. There is an entire spectrum of the world I am not privy to.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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