Roses Are Blue I Have A Gun And Ill Sout You!

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an axe

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Naw, not now, I don't want to be assimilated, I am a bit of a wuss right now, really tired.

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What is the most dangerous place to be right now? Rodney Kings pool.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family

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patient: Doctor, doctor, i think i'm a lemon. Doctor: racial segregation and presidency is my middle name.

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Guess What??? Ur Murr

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Friends are a lot like trees. If you hit them multiple times with an axe, they will fall down.

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Why does Renee suck at tetris Because she has cancer.

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What's better than being raped by a donkey? Pie.

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What is white and hard to catch? A refrigerator

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Turkey Balls

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How do you stop a bus from hitting you?? You throw small children to impede the progress of the bus.

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Why did Justin Bieber wake up Lady Gaga? He needed to ask her a question.

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how do you make a plumber cry kill his family how do you kill the plumbers family with a wrench

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A black man checks his watch. He sees that its 3:50, and calmly carries on with his day.

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knock knock whos there? your dr you have cancer

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Yo mama's so poor that she's living in poverty.

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what did your mom say to you? go fuck your self you stupid greedy shit. you start crying later in your bedroom, then your mom comes with a bag full of your fathers semen, and dildos. and forces you to drink the entire bag.

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When life gives you lemons......you should be really scared because life shouldnt be giving you anything....espically lemons so if life offers you lemons you better run

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Knock knock. Who's there? Never mind that. I have a gun and your child. Come out with all your valuables and he won't get hurt.

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Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: Cheese.

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There were three soap salesmen in a bar. They were comparing how good they were at selling their wares. "I'm so good that I sell 60% of my soap bars each day," says the first salesman, bragging. The second one wasn't to be outdone. "I'm so good that I sell 80% of my soap bars," he declared. The last salesmen, who, up to the moment had been relatively quiet, suddenly said in a calm and collected manner, "Oh that's nothing. I'm so good that I sell all of my soap bars each day."

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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