Where is Jew University? Berlin, Germany

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What did God say to Abraham? Nothing, because God doesn't exist.

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There are two types of people in this world, those that can't count

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Stop reading these anti-jokes and go study for your externals!

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Why was the emo kid sad? Because he gets raped by his dad every night

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What's worse than getting a paper cut? Getting shot in the face.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing. She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

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why does the gay guy like anal-sex? because he's gay.

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I had 99 problems Solved them all

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why does the room smell bad? because there's a dead body under the bed

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was booted into the air by a screaming Russian osselot.

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What happened to the homeless guy when a woman gave him five dollars? He shot the woman because he is mentally retarded.

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How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ten. One to actually screw it in, and nine to stand around and say, "I can do it better."

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Your mamma's so dumb, she's had problems functioning in society, due to illiteracy problems, and a general incomprehension of her surroundings and own thoughts.

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Why would you kill a black man? Well, murderers have different motives, the most common of these are revenge or a psychological illness.

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What did the boy with cancer get for his birthday? Roses on his tombstone.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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How do you get the neighborhood hoodlums to stop pushing you over in your wheelchair? Brutally murder their families in front of them.

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The word you are looking for is charm, not seduction, I am above such things, and while I have no reason whatsoever to believe either one of us can gain anything from going "eye for an eye", I am sure I can offer whatever financial and even specialized assistance you might require in order to get that eye of yours seeing clearer than before... Worry not, I shall outlaw the name Nero and all the derivations and similarities from my Order, unless someone named Nero actually happens to come by of course...

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If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, then they probably won't hear the lumberjack's cries for help either.

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"I see," said the deaf man, to the blind man, who had no ears.

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What's the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? What's the WNBA?

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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, you already told her twice.

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What's worst than getting hit by a car. -Getting hit by a truck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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