Q how do you feel? A with a series of nerve endings, that send signals to my brain

a man walked into a bar and said ow

A:Knock Knock B:It's open

there were 2 black men and a mexican man in a car. who as driving? we cant tell from the problem but is is more likely it is a black guy because there are 2 of him and 1 mexican.

What's the difference a black person and a park bench? A park bench is a object and a black person is human.

roses are red, violets are blue, my name is dave, this makes no sense microwave.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

The funniest thing about this joke is that by the time you realise it doesn't say anything its to late to stop reading it

Who's gay? Justin Beaver

How many theropists does it take to change a lightbulb? -only one, but it takes a very long time and the lightbulb has to want to change.

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

Why couldn't the cat drink the milk? Because it had no face.

How much does a polar bear weigh? about 900 pounds

Whats black and white and red all over? A chopped up dalmation...

Did you hear about the dyslexic insomniac that stayed awake all night wondering if there really is a dog?

Columbus Day... A day to remember the anniversary of Columbus enslaving America.

Three Jews are hiding under the floorboards. One of them makes a noise and a second Jew elbows him so he'll keep quiet. They are heard and are all caught. It's now their turn to seek because they are playing Hide n' Seek.

How do you make a lawyer cry? You can't. The production of tears requires a soul, which, regretfully, no lawyer possesses.

What was the women doing out of the kitchen? Watching the movie 'Birth of a Nation' at her father's house

How do you kill a blonde? Push her off a cliff.

Your mum is SO fat... She died of a heart attack

EVERYONE NEEDS TO UNDERSTAND!! DYSLEXICS ARE TEOPLE POO!

Whats red and goes round and round? A baby in the garbage disposal

What do you call your mother's bipolar brother with three arms? Uncle.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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