Whats black and white and red all over? A chopped up dalmation...

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Whats better than 1 person in your oven? 9 people in your oven.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am ADD Bird

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Who's gay? Justin Beaver

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Q: Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? A: A burglar

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Did you hear about the dyslexic insomniac that stayed awake all night wondering if there really is a dog?

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What was the women doing out of the kitchen? Watching the movie 'Birth of a Nation' at her father's house

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How do you kill a blonde? Push her off a cliff.

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my friend said this website was funny, you know what i said?.... its really not!

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Q how do you feel? A with a series of nerve endings, that send signals to my brain

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How many theropists does it take to change a lightbulb? -only one, but it takes a very long time and the lightbulb has to want to change.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? about 900 pounds

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a man walked into a bar and said ow

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there were 2 black men and a mexican man in a car. who as driving? we cant tell from the problem but is is more likely it is a black guy because there are 2 of him and 1 mexican.

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How do you make a lawyer cry? You can't. The production of tears requires a soul, which, regretfully, no lawyer possesses.

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EVERYONE NEEDS TO UNDERSTAND!! DYSLEXICS ARE TEOPLE POO!

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telling real jokes on anti-joke is a form of anti jokes

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What do you call your mother's bipolar brother with three arms? Uncle.

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a man walks into a bar. He left after he drank two beers. Someone pulled his pants down and he didnt notice. when he got home he realized his pants were gone. He returned to the bar to search, but it was a metal bar, and he was fairly stupid. please dont laugh

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How many blondes did it take to screw in the lightbulb? Just one. She did a fine job.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he saw some pandas spooning.

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Why was Mr. Smith always so sad at the block party? His uncle molested him as a child, when he was 10 he finally told his mother. His mother and father later fought if they should tell the police, the mother wanted him to go to jail, and the dad didn't want to ruin his family because the uncle was his brother, and the uncle had children. Right before his mother would call the police his father stabbed her in the back, mr smith saw what happened. Him and his father hid his mothers body and mr smith"s dad told him if he tells anyone about this he will kill him. Years later when mr smith was 13 he went on drugs to ease the pain, he later became an addict, and dropped out of school. He know suffers from depression and has killed all 3 of his wives. He is wanted in many middle eastern countries. So when ever he goes to sleep he has the same dream were him mom offers him pot and right before he gets it his dad stabs her in the back. So know mr smith is sad at the block party because he will kill himself later tonight.

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A man bets that his friend can't drink five beers in a row. His friend does it and says "See, I told you I can do it!" The man replies "No, I can't see, I'm blind."

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A man serves his wife dinner. She laughes and tells him it tastes funny. He then procedes to tell her that is because he put large amounts of poision into the food.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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