- Anti Joke

Keira Knightley walked in to a coffee shop. The man behind the counter said "Wow, you're Keira Knightley!". Keira replied, "No, actually I am just one of your many masturbatory fantasies. You are currently staring at an old lady that just asked you for a latte". "Oh, by the way. You are drooling and have an erection."

a horse walks into a bar. the barman asks "why the long face". not understanding human language, the horse takes a shit, neighs then leaves

Where do dinosaurs go on vacation? Dinosaurs are mainly extinct except for a select few such as crocodiles, which are arguably ancestors of dinosaurs. With this in mind, dinosaurs do not go on vacation because they are dead.

Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

Question: What do you call a Black person who cooks food at a fried chicken restaurant? Answer: A chef

Why was Johnny so mad at his father? Because his father had a constant drinking problem and was very abusive.

Why do black people eat Kentucky Fried Chicken? Because there is Protein in chicken and without protein their bodies would succumb to such diseases as Kwashiorkor and Cachexia.

How do you tell the difference between a white family, and an albino black family? The albino black family suffers from a lack of pigmentation, while the white family just has a naturally pale skintone.

Why did Sally drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

Your mamas so fat, she was self-conscious about her weight and became an antisocial vegetable.

Knock knock, Who's there? Justin Bieber, LEAVE!

What starts with F and ends with U-C-K? Firetruck

when chuck norris does a pushup, he is tearing the muscles in his biceps, deltoids, core, and triceps in order to make them stronger.

What's worse than the holocaust? Microwaveable jellied horse nipple

Your moms so fat she struggles to to everyday tasks

Q: What do they call watermelons in Indiana A:watermelons

What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad at making jokes And your a jew

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

What's black an blue and doesn't like sex? The 8year old in my trunk.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was booted into the air by a screaming Russian osselot.

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What did the muslim do at the airport? He bought a ticket to New York and proceeded to fly there to mourn his brother who was killed during the terrorist attacks on 9/11.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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