I know 7 facts about you: 1. You're reading this. 2. You hate this overused shit. 3. You may think I will skip a number. 5. And you hate me much more. 6. You have seen porn. 7. You want me to kill myself. I am just gonna go suicide.

a horse walks into a bar. the barman asks "why the long face". not understanding human language, the horse takes a shit, neighs then leaves

Why couldn't Jack and Jill climb the hill? Because they were bagels.

A man on his 21st birthday walks into a bar. He orders a piña colada. The bartender then replies "Sorry we do not sell piña coladas here." In disappointment, the man decides to order a different alcoholic drink and later becomes an alchoic for 20 years until he breaks his obsession and remarries his wife and has 5 kids. He then had a great life and died at age 92. He will be missed by his wife and children.

Pilot: We need to lighten the load of this plane Italian: I'll throw out these pizzas, there are too many of them in my country Mexican: I will throw out these tacos, there are just too many of them in my country The american stares in horror at the two men, the pizza and tacos were their only food and they were lost in the Himalayas.

when there's trouble lurking in your neighbourhood, who you gonna call? The local authorities.

Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? Perhaps he was doing a project on tree-life.

Why was Mary mucky? Because she was dragged to a field and raped

whats blue and fluffy? blue fluff.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes.

Why didn't the chicken not get across the road? Cause it's head got shot off by some drunk asshole

Why did Hitler kill himself? He saw his gas bill.

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the squirrel.

Who's the slut of the alphabet? C.

His name is Frosted Mike, and he neither has nor does not have a penis.

roses are red violets are blue. they both smell like flowers

How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Suck its dick.

How do you piss of camon? Have sex with shelby!

But officer, I did come to a full stop!

Who's mean and white and really not nice? Hitler

How to shrink China's population in a few minutes? Nuke them all, simple.

What do you call a white guy sitting on a bench? The NBA.

A woman walked into a college.....which wasn't suprising because she never learned to read

why did the chicken cross the road? because aliens dont wear purple hats.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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