My mom was telling my brother how much it hurt when she stubbed her toe. He told her she should try child birth.

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What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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How do you call a guy that ran over 10 children A bad driver

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The ten year old in my trunk

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A brunette, redhead, and blond were on a road trip. Their car broke down in the middle of the desert. The redhead offered to get help down the road, but never returned. The blond and brunette walked the direction the redhead went, but died four days later of heat exhaustion.

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Parents were talking about a particular whore house and tries to keep it secret to their son. Father: Bob and I saw the house near the river, its a whore house full of prostitutes. Mother: Shhh! Our son is listening. The Son enters the room. Son: Don't mind me, I know that area. Both parents were angry: So you've been there!? Don't deny, you know! Son: Just because I know doesn't mean I've been there. I know the moon has less gravity but I haven't been there.

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A man walks into the bar and orders a drink. This is what you do in a bar.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

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Where did the girl go when a bomb was dropped on her? Everywhere

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

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Q: What do you call Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. A: two things: Their names, and a doctor because they are both in need of a nutritionist.

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Why couldn`t Sally open the jar? Because she did not have thumbs.

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Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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What's big fat and ugly? A monster

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How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender How do you get them out? Straw

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What's worse than 9/11? a dipped glass of milk

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Whats worse than the death of a celebrity? An anonymous person posting a joke on this site.

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Why did the fat girl stop eating? She wasn't hungry.

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Why are you gay? Because ***** you

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What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

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what d you call three arabs walking through the desert? dehydrated.

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A dog walks into a bar. The owner got a fake service dog identification and everyone really enjoyed it.

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what has wheels and drives? a boat i lied about the wheels

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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