Two pies where sitting in a oven when one of the pies says: God damn it's hot in here. The other pie screams out loud: HOLY SHIT A TALKING PIE!

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knock knok whos there? Jacob Jacob who? U know, your friend!

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What do a carrot and a kangaroo have in common? Nothing...

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Why did the black man buy fried chicken? Because it wasn't free.

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Why didnt santa leave presents under the tree? Because santa doesnt exist.

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One walrus says to the other, "Why are you shaking like that?" The other walrus says, " I've been addicted to ectasy for three years. It's ruining my life."

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A wise man once said, "I am wise".

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A man jumped off a 30 story building. What did he learn? Nothing. He died instatly when he hit the ground.

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken a month off from working in their law firm. The mexican man, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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What's worse than a rapist? 2 rapists

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What did Sam Houston Say to Jim Bowie when he say all the Mexicans coming Towards the Alamo? That's a lot of Mexicans.

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roses are red violets r blue jump off a building no one likes u

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what did the african say after he got beat by the cops? wow i really shouldn't have sliced that mans head off.

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CNN has posted that the recent death of osama bin laden is comparable to decapitating a snake when really it is more akin to bisection of a worm.

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Rose's are red, violets are red, trees are red, bushes are red, oh God the garden's on fire.

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What did the plane say to the other plane? Boy, those towers fall!

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A dog walks into a bar. The owner got a fake service dog identification and everyone really enjoyed it.

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Yo mama is so fat that she is in a diet and wants to lose weight by eating healthy.

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What's black and white and red all over? A modern abstract painting

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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Why wouldn't anyone want Helen Kellers dog? It's been buried for a long time...

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A man walks into a bar, he sits down.

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Three men are sitting in a tub. One of them says "Toss me the soap." The second one says "Toss me the shampoo." The third one says "Toss me the toaster."

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What do you call cheese that you don't own? Cheese.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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