A black man is like a sledge hammer; if you compare him to a sledge hammer, he will hit you with a sledge hammer.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Ha ha. You've wasted your life, sucker!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Your mom is so fat that she actually had a pretty hard time finding a husband.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing, but he did purchase whiskey with the little money he had to drink away his misery, and to suppress his suicidal thoughts that were a result of his alcoholism which stemmed from his father's abusive nature.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: When birds fly in a "V", why is one side always longer? A: There is one extra bird on that side

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man wakes up in his bed and looks at the clock. He realises he is gonna be late for work. He quickly gets out of bed, into the bathroom, has a shower, puts his deodorant on and brushes his teeth, gets dressed, and goes in his car. He drives out of his garage and drives to his work but gets stuck in traffic. He then gets to the car park of his work and parks his car. He gets out, goes up the elevator to his floor, when the elevator door opens to his floor, he quickly says hello to Terrance and goes to his bosses office. And guess what the boss says? You're late.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between The Hulk and The Thing? One is green.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man walks into a Library.... And asks for a book.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the blackman fall off the bike? Because he stole it.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

If life gives you melons. You may be dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the Black person afraid of the chainsaw? Be cause it goes run nigga nigga run nigga nigga run

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between a educated black man & a educated white man? One's black, One's white

thumb_up thumb_down +10

knock knock whos there? jew jew who ? jew son o a b**** ? (aimed at ight wing racist jews)

thumb_up thumb_down +10

how do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did god create anti-jokes? He didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock Knock Who's there? Your mom. Just kidding, it's the pizza guy. Pizza guy who?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man in a state penitentiary drops his soap. He then picks it up and continues his shower.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

EVERYONE, CREATE LOVE NOT WAR.. Between Josh and Dylan... WILD.. PASSIONATE.. LOVE!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? To return to the roost he had recently escaped.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the baby monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between the Hulk and the Thing? One's green.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops