A poor woodcutter accidentally dropped his axe into the nearby river when taking a particularly forceful swipe at the tree he was cutting. He felt so dejected he wept. Then, the goddess of the river appeared. "What ails thee, my dear man?" she asked. "My axe -- it fell in the river!" stuttered the weeping woodcutter. "Do not worryI am the goddess of this river, and will find your axe!" said the River Goddess and dived into the river. After waiting eagerly for several minutes, the woodcutter was resigned to the fact that he had imagined the River Goddess.

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Did you fall on your head when you were a baby Oh, I very sorry.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: He had no arms Q: Why did the frog fall out of the tree? A: He was stapled to the monkey's face

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Why did the dog cross the road? Because the pizza man saw how hungry he was and left a pizza for the dog. So when the dog saw the pizza he went to go get the pizza, because he was hungry. In hindsight the moral of the story is: if you ever see a hungry dog on the other side of the road, become a pizza man (if you aren't already) and give him a pizza.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I chucked a shit and flushed the toilet.

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Why couldn't Suzie put on her boots? Because she got her legs amputated.

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Q. What do you call a gay bar with no bar stools? A. A gay bar

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Why do Jew's have long noses? To dig out of the ashes.

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

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How many blondes does it take to play a game of hide and seek? One ... ;)

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What did the two Japanese men say to each other? I have no idea I don't speak Japanese

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What did the mouse say to the elephant that sat on him? Nothing, he died on impact.

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what happens if you fart to hard? A.you shit yourself

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I sas Ratzinger a sandwich when someone came up to me and said "sharing is caring" So I gave him a grenade He asked "where's the pin" I said " I pulled it for you" This is not an anti joke

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What's better than a $75 000 salary? 80 000 sticks of celery.

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oooooooooooooo yeah write there thats the spot what i was talking about my car

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What do you call a man who tripped on a rock? A man who tripped on a rock.

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What do Michael Jackson and a throbbing, greasy, overcooked Shitake Mushroom have in common? Nothing. Just nothing at all.

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Roses are red,Here's something new ,violets are violets,not ******* blue

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Cause KFC was chasing him.

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Why couldn't the blonde have children? She had pelvic inflammatory disease.

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What's the difference between Chuck Norris and Bigfoot? Nothing. Their both really hairy.

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What did the black man say to the white man? "Hi"

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Why didn't the boy blow out his birthday cake this year? He died last year.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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