There once was a man from Nantucket.

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what did Russell wilson get for Christmas a seahawk..

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How did freedom die in Europe? It was shot in the chest with a rifle.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Q: Why did the dead baby cross the road??? A: It was stapled to the chicken.

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Knock knock no answer, as the tenant of the house was out shopping.

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if you have a name/nickname/brand/version or number, please like this anti joke

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It was a chilly saturday afternoon coles's brother asked cole to baby sit cole said yes and when his brother left cole proceeded to give it to his niece in the ass. Little did cole know he said his little niece on fire that was the end of his little nieces life.

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How many squirrels does it take to change a lightbulb? 42.

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What happens when you give a math problem to a blonde? She works through it to arrive at the answer.

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

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Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his forehead. Why did the little boy have a frog stapled to his forehead? Because Johnny just can't drive. Why can't Johnny drive? He has no arms and legs. Why does Johnny have no arms and legs? Cause Johnny is a potato! Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? Because he got ran over by a bus. But who was driving the bus? Johnny the potato!

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Of course, you have always found more joy in seeing others happy, that pursuing your own happiness.

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Whats the worst thing your parents could ever do to a teenager? Take there phone.

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Q: Santa Clause, the Tooth Fairy, and a rich mexican jump out of the plane at the same time. Who hit the ground first? A: The answer is none of the above, because they don't exist.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being raped and was fugitive lot trying to escape, to no avail.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause it wanted to

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What did the white man say to the black bartender? I'll have a pint please.

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What do you do when you have a baby and your being shot by a terrorist. You use the baby as a shield.

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Q.What is black and white and red (read) all over? A. A penguin in a blender.

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Obama ran for re-election in 2012. He lost because he is a horrible president. the liberal left blame his defeat on racists and propose harsh Hate-Crime punishments. America falls into disrepair.

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Boy: Why'd the chicken cross the road Mom: I don't know go ask the chicken

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One day a woman wrote a letter to her husband whom was at war. He received it, read it, and was happy to know she was thinking of him.

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Friend's are like pinguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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