When is it ok to drink urine? When you're Bear Grills

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in a car crash an entire family is killed from death until they all die

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At the Asthma hotline. Caller: Aahhh aahhh *gasp* *gasp* I need you... Woman: *slams phone* DAMN I WISH THESE PERVERTS WOULD STOP CALLING!

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Why couldn't the pirate enter into the movie? Because he's dead.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Why do cats have nine lives? Because they don't have ten.

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What do you call someone who sits on anti joke every day? Luke Skywalker

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Guess What??? Ur Murr

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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What did the homeless black guy write on his sign? need money for weed.

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What did the German say to the Rabbi? Hello. The German was also Jewish

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How many times have I said the word shingles? twelve.

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A Jewish person had a robber in their house. Who broke in? Adolf Hitler

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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white or wheat? wheat please.

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why did the boat float up to the sky? because everybody on it died including the boat...

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"the president is black, my lambo's blue..." no hes not, hes bi-racial.

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Nathaniel Nugnes walks into a bra

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How do you make a fat man cry? You call him fat.

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What's fat, gay, and ugly. A fat, gay, and ugly guy.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

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A dog walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "why the long face?" The dog replies, "because I am a dog you idiot, my face always looks like this"

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a gay man got shot outside his house even though he was just checking the male get it checking the male

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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