Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

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Hey, in case you are around and still wonder how he got out. Anonymous tip from yours truly, if he had remained there, you would all have taken the blame. Just stay away from the deep web, and I wont be forced to come get all of you as well. For a long while I was suspicious that you might have been leaking information regarding me and all of us, but then the rules changed and information regarding Point Zero, subtle hints and such, began spreading, it has been removed, nobody will know what Intel was sold, so yeah, he was a mole, he is no more, for this I am sorry.

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Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

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How do you double any amount of cash? Stack it up and fold it in half.

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what do you call a toddler with a gun? uninteresting

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What did the Asian man say to the Mexican man? Nothing, due to the language barrier.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because Acl tear stepped on a spit.

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I have the answer to why the child stepped on a ball-he was dumb

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What did one alligator say to the other alligator? Ear

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What did the plant say to the human. Nothing.

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A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar mans asks ''so, what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk.

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wanna hear a joke? womans rights

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How do you rescue a fat girl that's stuck under a car? With a pickaxe and a donkey.

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Why did the Albino cross the road? He was going to the skin pigment store.

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Why did my car stop suddenly? I had arrived at my appropriate destination.

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Knock knock, Who's there? Pizza hut delivery service, here's your pizza, Thanks.

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One time, as a dare, John was forced to eat 5 king size chocolate bars, 3 cakes, 8 Oreo Milkshakes, and 7 packages of Krispy Kreme Donuts. As a result, John has diabetes.

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why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven stabbed his mother.

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Why do new moms put "BABY ON BOARD" stickers on the backs of their cars? No reason. Hitting someone's car baby inside or not is against the law and very dangerous for passengers of any age.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he is concerned about his fitness and decided to walk to work instead of drive.

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How do you know when you have had too much to drink? When you ran over 7 pedestrians and are lying in the back of a police vehicle

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Ask me any question. Okay, what is your favorite color? I refuse to answer.

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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