A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Keira Knightley walked in to a coffee shop. The man behind the counter said "Wow, you're Keira Knightley!". Keira replied, "No, actually I am just one of your many masturbatory fantasies. You are currently staring at an old lady that just asked you for a latte". "Oh, by the way. You are drooling and have an erection."

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jeffrey: Do you know what happened on the 5th of november? gerald: No jeffrey: I cant remember

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Life on the line? I just do it for the kill and the potential savage rape and consumption! And yeah, a man is not a man but a boy if he cant protect his lady friends. HEY WAIT A FUCKING MOMENT! Why you playing so hard to get now? YOUR FLESH IS MINE! It is just like a billion pages ago where we where talking VERY down and dirty.

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The stone said to tree I wanna be car the tree replied you cant be a car. Forever a stone

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Don't you hate it when you have 5 dead bodies, and you don't know which one to shoot your load on? -no

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How do you know if you have athlete's foot? You ask your doctor, and he will tell you.

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whats worse than ur granny dying? uhhh...actually theres nothing is worse

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Why did the baby die? Because he was shot in the head repeatedly

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Harry Potter: Hey voldemort, you wanna go get our noses pierced?? Voldemort: I killed your parents.

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What did one ginger say to the other We have red hair

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Yo momma so stupid she tried drowning a gold fish. She got accused for animal cruelty.

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Q:how do you save a black guy from drowning A: you shoot him

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? You don't have to cook an onion to eat it.

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:y do people talk? ;idk :oh then nevermind

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Son: Mommy can I have some cookies? Mom: Sure, they're on the top shelf! Son: But I don't have any arms! Mom: No arms, no cookies!

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Why did the asbestos cross the road? Because it was being removed from an elementary school due to the fact that asbestos is an air pollutant which is regulated under section 112 of the Clean Air Act of 1970.

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How do you keep black people from your Kool-aid? How? You put it in a safe-deposit box.

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Your momma is so fat, when she bent down to get a peice of wood, she fell down the steps.

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I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one . Though , I do have cancer .

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whats long, hairy, and has one eye? my cat fluffy, he has cancer.

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your mom is so fat that when she walks in America with a yellow coat as they get a taxi

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How many people does it take to make a fun party? Idk, that's why I asked you, you see I'm throwing a party and wantedto know how many people I should invite.

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How do you drown a blonde? A: Drowing any person no matter the color of their hair is conpletely illegal and considered murder.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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