A priest, a rabbi and a mullah walk into a bar. The bartender looks at the three, laughs and says "Please leave now, God is dead"

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My uncle Magnus and my Aunty Agnus had a baby and named it.............Death.

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a blonde walks in to a bar, the bar tender gives him a free drink because he's a man and it's nazi germany

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper... used to clean up a crime scene.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says "I just found out I have AIDS"

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Why was the little girl crying Someone therew a dump truck at her

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Maybe because it had escaped from the farm and as it doesn't have full conciousness, it couldn't distinguish between grass and the asphalt, so it happened to cross the road.

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whats worse than a baby impaled on your lawn... the universe being consumed by a giant albino ape with over sized testicles

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2 Priests and a Monk walk into a bar, All 3 were stabbed to death in a bar fight.

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charly ate an apple. the apple was filled with poison and charly died.

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Yo Mama just died.

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What do we call Osama? Osama

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What's the worst thing about that Black Jew at the Bus Stop? He's taking a bus to go to his mother's funeral.

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Why did Susie fell off the swings? Because she didn't have any arms or legs.

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DEATH.

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I'll take a Reuben, light sauce, and could you do Provolone instead of Swiss?

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knock knock. who's there? your neighbor. o hi come one in!

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A blind man walks into a bar. He had a few drinks then went home.

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A man is standing on the street corner waiting for the bus. As it pulls up he steps on and pays his fare while he whistles to his iPod.

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How did the fat guy survive the air crash? He was he was astronomically and improbably lucky.

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what do you call 20 black people under the ocean? a tragic boating accident

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops