a dyslecstic son seys to his mum can i have a mcdonald for tea the mum seys ye if you can spell mcdonlds and the son seys fuk that im having a kcf

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4/20 is a holiday just like Christmas.. I lied you just get baked

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One Direction???? Gifted singers???? HA HA HA

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Whats something really annoying? A guy who presses enter too much. hehe

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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A horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse. The horse walks out of the bar kicking over some chairs and scaring some people because he is a horse and horses do not belong in public atmospheres.

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Roses are red,violets are blue I've got aids & now so do you Merry Christmas

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\ \ \\ \\ >\/ 7 _.-(6' \ (=__._/` \ ) \ | / / | / > / j < _\ _.-' : ``. \ r=._\ `. \ > ,.-' >.'

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What did the girl say in her French lesson? Miss, I don't get it, its in a different language.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If Beauty Exits ... The Heck Are You?

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The philosophy professor decided to isolate himself in his closet until he figured out the meaning of life. After ten years, he had done it. He came out of isolation and immediately found one of his former colleagues on campus. He said, "I've discovered the meaning of life!" The colleague said, "Ok, what is it?" The professor said, "Life is like a bridge." The colleague said, "How so?" After a few moments, the professor nodded and said, "Yea, I guess you're right."

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How does Fred drink his milk? -computer

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What come after 69? Time for you to get a watch

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What did the black guy say to the other black guy? We are both black

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Mom now that I am fourteen can I get a bra now? No Harold!

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A: What do you call a female bombing the white house? Q: A terrorist

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A Jew walked into Germany. He never walked back out.

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TOFFEES HEAD LYING IN THE GRASS

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What is six foot three, plays basketball, and is black? A black dog with basketball skills and takes steroids.

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Q: What's funnier than rape? A: Many things such as murder or nuclear warfare.

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how many dead babies can you fit into a bath tub i dont know i didnt get the chance to fill it up yet

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Friends are just like trees. They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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Not gonna tell you, that was one weird story, I feel like super high right now.

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Confucius says... He with whom neither slander that gradually soaks into the mind, nor statements that startle like a wound in the flesh, are successful may be called intelligent indeed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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