How do you get a Mother out of a tree? Ask them to come down, because it is really not socially acceptable for a responsible adult to be climbing trees.

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I never drink liquor alone... except for when I'm alone.

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Q: Why didn't johnny get any Christmas presents? A: Because he died in a house fire 3 years ago.

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why did no one like Ashley? because she was a bitch!

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I pushed my friend off the bed after losing to him in FIFA 2011. He died.

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Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because the branch broke.

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why did the girl die. because she was bullied and abused everyday by her family and friends. she was homeless and was forced to drop a bomb on her own forest. there fore she stabbed herself.

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Two fish are in a tank. The first one says, "How the heck do I drive this thing!".

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how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? open the door and put him in.

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What's worse than fingering your sister and finding your father's wedding ring ? 3 bee stings.

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what happens when a mexican makes love to an octopus? It makes a freaking weird looking animal

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Why was the young child dead in the middle of the road? His mother wasn't there to prevent him from chasing the ball across the road, and therefore, he ran in front of a truck

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why did the man stay home on a monday? He was dead.

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What is black, white, and red all over? something that just so happens to be seen by the color blind.

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How do you confuse a blonde?? Throw her in a circle room and tell her to find all the corners If she comes out and says I found the corners.. then your screwed

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What do you call a fish with no "i's"? A blind fish.

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What do you call a kid with leukemia and no arms? Names.

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what did timmy from southpark say after his warther melested him? TIMMY

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My gifts to my gf included: A diamond ring, a sports car, a house in malibu, a new credit card, a private jet, but most importantly, a Refrigerator.

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what do the students call their red-headed friend? Mike.

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You know those people that learned the true name of God, as God asked kindly... ...Well you know God can be nice sometimes but he actually COMMANDED they keep his name secret forever? They became the first people known as Jehova`s witnesses... JEHOVAH<<< SECRET NAME ANYBODY? So much for keeping his secret name guys! They claim that only a few thousand humans will ascend to heaven, in other words all of the JEHOVA`s witnesses... All two billions of them or something... For keeping his name (Cough JEHOVAH) secret. SUCCESS!

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What did the mexican say to the other mexican? Lets go get some tacos.

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What's worse than waking up with a clown in your bed? Waking up with a dead clown in your bed.

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What did the players of the all black NBA team say to the white rookie? "Congratulations for making it to the NBA! Your hard work and dedication has certainly paid off."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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