MOTHER OF GOD!! What is this horse doing in here?!

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yo momma so fat... she went on a calorie controlled diet and lost 3 stone, she's a really nice lady too.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Dave Dave, who? Jerry, just let me in already Two months later, Dave was convicted on charges of home invasion and the murder of Jerry Jones without bail.

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two tomatoes are running and one stops to tie its shoe and the other says "Catch up!" This begins to put the first tomato on the spot and he runs after the second tomato without finishing his shoe and he trips falls and dies of severe brain damage

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what does a buttler put in a closet ? stuff.

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Does 2 + 2 = fish? No.

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FIONN'S ECONOMICS GRADE

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Why was the multi-millionaire entreprenuer sad? He went bankrupt.

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Knock knock! Who's there? ... There was no reply because the person who knocked was the mailman delivering a package, and he had a tight schedule so he couldn't stay around to chat.

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What's red and checkered and tells you to turn your music down? Michael

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Why did Sally ask for ketchup? She wanted to use it on her french fries.

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What's worse than missing your flight? 9/11

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What's the difference between difference and between? One is difference the other is between.

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Finding TWO worms in your apple.

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Why couldn't the blind man drive? His sight impairment made him unable to fulfill the task without harming himself and potentially other people.

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Why did the baby stop crying? It had been smothered to death by it's sleep- deprived single mother.

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What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

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A few people were put in a room with 5 doors and 4 were a certain death one was freedom and they had to choose a door to go in not knowing which was freedom the first person went in the door on the far left. He got raped by Michael Jackson. The second guy opened the door on the far right. He got in a room entirely made of ice cream. He ate all of it and got such a brain freeze his brain froze. The third and final guy turned around and noticed a door labeled exit. He exited the room and continued his life as a normal person

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when life throws you lemons you should watch out or you might get hurt.

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how do you make a cripple depressed? stairs..

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Why did the man punch NUGE in the face? Because he got angry that NUGE was being such a BA person and he was jealous of NUGE'S style and he just got dumped by his ugly as poop mom which was eating Anti Chicken.

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Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

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Q )Why did the black man shoot the white man? A )The black man had been walking home from his weekly gospel service at the local church when suddenly the criminal had stopped him in his tracks. In a desperate attempt to save himself he seized the gun from the white man and shot him in the leg in order to defend himself. He survived.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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