Why couldn't the woman give her sister a present? Because she just got eaten by zombies.

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Roses are red violets are blue tulips are purple/pink

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What do you call a banana in a blender? A banana in a blender. Duh

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You were born.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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when your out of toilet paper what do you do? get more

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What did the two Japanese men say to each other? I have no idea I don't speak Japanese

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what do you call a white and black girl 69? ying yang

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Why did the mathematician go to jail? Because he killed his wife.

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Where does a jew with ADD go ? A concentration camp

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Q:How do you kill an Elephant? A:With an Elephant gun Q:How do you kill a blue Elephant? A:With a blue Elephant gun. Q:How do you kill a purple Elephant? A:With a purple Elephant gun. Q:How do you kill a red Elephant? A:There is no such thing.

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A blind man walks into a book store. He asks if they have any books in Braille. The employee says "Yes! Many you haven't even seen before!"

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Who do you call when there is a ghost in your house? You should problably call the doctor, you may be hallucinating.

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Which does does the Mississippi River flow in? Liquid.

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A blonde walks into a bar. She says ow

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Did you hear about that creepy guy on Facebook? He was un-friended

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Jerry Sandusky and two other men are on a cruise ship, when it suddenly starts to sink. The first man says, "save the children!" The second man says, "screw the children!" Jerry Sandusky drowned.

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How do you tell a crazy man that he is on fire? You're on fire.

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Have you heard of the mute man that kept telling people he could not talk? Its funny because its true.

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What do you do when your girlfriend is bleeding? She is probably on her period.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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What do you call a person with 4 arms? A normal person. (fore arms) (meant to be audible)

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what's black and white and red all over? nothing... it's red

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Why did the man lose the poker match in the jungle? He was playing a cheetah.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops