There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

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Why don't seagulls live in the bay? Because then they'd be bagels

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Oh...okay, good.

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: It doesn't matter, the lightbulb never went out in the first place.

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There were a boy with cancer, and when a said "were" is because he is dead now

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Yo Momma's sooo fat that the speed of light at her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s.

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Who was the dinosaurs favorite NBA player? He didnt have one. Dinosaurs became extinct far before the NBA was established.

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If life throws you lemons Catch them

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q: whats fat hairy and always eats mcdonalds a playboy model i lied about everything

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Roses are rde, violets are bule, I am dyslexic, how about you?

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How do you keep children off your front lawn? You molest them.

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Why was grandma lying on the floor? She just died of lung cancer.

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Whats black, white, and huge? The world if you are a dog.

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a Mormon knocked on my front door three times, and i took three seconds to answer, whe shook hands for three seconds. how many dead kittens can fit in my blender?

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womens rights

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An antijoke

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What makes the world go round? Gravity.

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What does a baseball and a T-Rex have in common? What? Neither of them is a carrot.

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There once was a genie With a sevenfoot weenie And he went to the lady next door She thought it was a snake So she hit it with a rake And then he murdered the shit out of her.

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What did the lion say the the zebra? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak and therefore could not make conversation with said zebra, hunted it down, killed it, and shared it with his pride of 27.

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knock knock you may come in

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Whats the difference between a duck? Yellow bills.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Madame. Madame who? Just kidding it's Steve, but my damn foot's stuck in the door.

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What do you call a man with 3 legs and one arm jumping on a trampoline? By his name.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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