You know that you are going to fail horribly when... your purpose generally defeats the mission.

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What's black and white and red all over? A post-racial communist country.

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The Aristocrats

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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Q : Why did the girl fall off the swimset ? A : Gravity pulls smaller masses towards larger masses, so the girl being the smaller mass, got attracted to the bigger mass, AKA the Earth, and that's why she fell.

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A black man, a mexican man and a chinese man all walk into a supermarket. Together, they purchase ingredients to make a delicious vegetarian lasagna. That night, they make the lasagna and greatly enjoy it together.

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you, me and i need to stop doing meth!

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How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them

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What do you call a man with a black head, a red body, white arms and yellow legs? To get to the other side.

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GUY 1: Mann, I just got done working out, check out my forearms!!! GUY 2: You only have two silly!!

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Your Mom.

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"hey you know that graveyard down the street." "yeah." "people are dying to get in there."

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if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. unless you only get one lemon, then it really hard to make a good glass..and for that matter, who said you had a juicer? it would be really hard to just squeeze the juice out of a lemon. on top of that, what kind of situation am I in that I would need lemonade? let's say if life gives you lemons, determine the best use of them based on need, local weather and economic status

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wat?

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What is black blue and screaming? Your daughter when i kicked the shit out of her

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Whats worse than bad sex. Being nice raped in the anus by a teletubby.

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In Soviet Russia, people are dying of starvation.

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In soviet Russia... there is a distinct probability that you will get mugged due to the high crime rate and gang ruled streets.

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Baaaaaaahhhhhh

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Knock knock, come in.

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a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face" the horse says "my son was just diagnosed with multiple sclerosis"

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What do you call a old guy watching little kids in a pool? a life guard

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ..To get to the other side

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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