How do you get 100 Jews into a Volkswagon? You don't. It's impossible to fit that many people into a car that small.

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An elephant walked into a bar. By bar I mean jungle. Elephants aren't capable of walking into a bar.

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What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

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Roses are red, Violets are too. You're bleeding out, I stabbed you.

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Why didn't Clemson accept John Burns' college application? Because John Burns was wanted for five counts of first degree murder.

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why aren't black people real? they are. just because they are less visible at night makes no difference.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a tomato.

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A man with no legs walks into a bar. Just kidding...

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Why did the Chicken cross the roead? It didn't

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Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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One man asked another man what his favorite sport was. The man replied: " My favorite sport is golf." "Golf requires no physical strength, therefore I do not count it as a sport." Said the man who asked the question.

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Your mommas so stupid she put a quarter into a parking meter and waited for a gumball to drop out.

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What does the redhead miss most at a party? Her father. He was in a car accident when she was young.

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Why did the chicken taunt the opposing team? To get to the other side.

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Rick Ross is so fat, that he is fatter than someone who isn't as fat as he is.

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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A man walks into a bar, and he died.

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A man walks into a bar and sees that the pianist is just twelve inches tall. He asks the bartender, ''How come you have a 12-inch pianist?'' The bartender replies, ''We have a genie in the back room. He'll answer all your wishes, but be careful, because he has a little trouble hearing.'' The man walks into the back room and asks the genie for a million bucks. The genie then gives him a million ducks. The man comes out and tells the bartender that the genie misheard his wish. The bartender says, ''Come on, now! Do you really think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?!''

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Knock, knock. Now before I asked "Who's there" I first opened the door as then I can see who's there without having to ask them through the door.

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jacob mckeand broke his arm and now he cant wank :(:(:(

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knock knock. who's there? Kony. Kony who? Kony says:" Uganda be abducted"

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Why did the policeman who's third wife just lost 20 pounds go to sleep? He was tired.

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Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was on a diet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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