Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: A kid fell in the mud.

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What do you call a Koala bear that does not have a chin? A Koala bear.

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What is black, can fly and sing? R. Kelly.. "I believe I can fly"

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You need to trim these evergreens. Either they are getting low our my van is GROWING!

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so a black guy, an asian, and a scott are sitting at a bar, they drink responsibly, pay their tab, and leave. The evening couldn't have been more pleasant.

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A Rabbi walks into a bar. He does not order any alcoholic beverages, because Orthodox Jews aren't allowed to consume alcohol except for certain times and religious customs.

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What's black and white and red all over? A penuin that got bit by a sea lion.

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What is long, hard, and full of semen? An erected penis.

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What did Tarzan shout when he saw the elephants coming? "Here come the elephants!"

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what do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night and see your tv floating thats odd.

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Why was the minority crying? He had something in his eye.

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a man walked into a bar he had no recollection of entering the bar so he exited the bar

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, You Have A Face That Belongs At The Zoo, Don't Worry I'll Be There With You, Not In The Cage But Laughing At You!!! :D

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What do you call an asian that is black? Please tell me, I was asking a question.

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roses are red violets are blue holy sh*t slendermans behind you

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Your mother is so stupid that she claimed the pole ran into her.

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3 Women were on a desert Island, This Island was situated in the middle of the Atlantic so there was no hope of survival.

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What do you get when you cross the motorway with a lottery ticket? You get knocked down and killed.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? He got many things, because everyone felt bad for him. Someone even brought him into their house so he could have Christmas dinner. On Christmas Day someone gave him fifty dollars to spend on food for his family. Only thing is, he didn't have a family.

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Why did the blonde fail her driving test? She was paralyzed and had down syndrome.

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. He quickly pulled out a .44 Magnum and murdered her violently. The marriage had been a nightmare ever since they lost their unborn child, and the situation pushed Bob to a place, where he could no longer look at his wife.

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse and progressive world in which we live.

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It's The Only Crayon The illustrator had?

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"This is defamation!" proclaimed the Fox, as he sat in the panels of the courtroom. "I attest, with full honesty, Your Honor, that never have I said any of the allegations the two defendants have quoted upon me." He looked with contempt at the Ylvis brothers, who sat at the other end of the room. "I say, Your Honor," he continued, "that I never, ever in my entire life, said 'Gering-ding-ding-dingerdingerding', to which I am willing to testify."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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