What's grey and can't climb trees? A parking lot.

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roses are red violets are blue i am black and so r u

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Do you know whats a joke? Something said or done to evoke laughter or amusement, especially an amusing story with a punch line.

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what did one dog say to another dog? ....nothing, because they can only bark.

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2 Priests and a Monk walk into a bar, All 3 were stabbed to death in a bar fight.

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what happens when a migit and a horse have sex..... probably nothing

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What did Emmanuel Frimpong say to George Elokobi? you sir, are DENCH

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Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: my red painted d*ck

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I'll take a Reuben, light sauce, and could you do Provolone instead of Swiss?

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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Simon says why the hell are we playing Simon say!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

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Two guys walk into a bar, a spanish guy and a black guy. They get some drinks, call a taxi to arrive home safe. And kiss their wives and kids goodnight. They go to bed early after reading a wallstreet journal. And wake up early so they can both go to their jobs as college professors. To white kids.

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Why did the dog cross the road? Because the pizza man saw how hungry he was and left a pizza for the dog. So when the dog saw the pizza he went to go get the pizza, because he was hungry. In hindsight the moral of the story is: if you ever see a hungry dog on the other side of the road, become a pizza man (if you aren't already) and give him a pizza.

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what do you call 20 black people under the ocean? a tragic boating accident

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a horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" Then the horse left because that question is racist to horses.

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Why did Sally fall out of the tree? Because She had no arms or legs... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Knock-Knock? Who's There? Not Sally

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Q: What happens when eight men throw purple at a rain coat? A: Mud-flaps, because electricity can't power a vagina.

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How do you stop a baby from spinning round a washing line. Hit it in face with a baseball bat.

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Q: What did the bus driver say to the black man? A: Nothing, he simply greeted him with a nod, as he would do to any other person who chose to ride the bus.

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Why did the Jewish cross the road? He didn't he died in Holocaust.

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hi

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What do you call someone trying to be funny? An anti-comedian.

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A husband said to his wife, "If you want to have sex, stroke my penis one time. If you don't want to have sex, just say so and I will respect your decision, though I may be disappointed."

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A man is going to sign up for life insurance, he is stabbed by a mugger on the way and spends his last breath in a puddle hating the cruel irony of his fate.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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