A man walks into a bar, and he died.

Knock, knock. Now before I asked "Who's there" I first opened the door as then I can see who's there without having to ask them through the door.

A man walks into a bar and sees that the pianist is just twelve inches tall. He asks the bartender, ''How come you have a 12-inch pianist?'' The bartender replies, ''We have a genie in the back room. He'll answer all your wishes, but be careful, because he has a little trouble hearing.'' The man walks into the back room and asks the genie for a million bucks. The genie then gives him a million ducks. The man comes out and tells the bartender that the genie misheard his wish. The bartender says, ''Come on, now! Do you really think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?!''

Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

Rick Ross is so fat, that he is fatter than someone who isn't as fat as he is.

Why did the chicken taunt the opposing team? To get to the other side.

Why did the smoker die at a petrol station? He had lung cancer.

What did the blonde say when she fell out of a tree? Nothing, she shattered her trachea upon landing.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, i know where you live now I'm coming for you

Hitler wasn't such a bad guy. He did kill Hitler.

a brick cheats on another brick the brick finds out and dose nothing because it is a brick

two peanuts were walking down the street one was assualted

What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

What do you do if a goose comes flying towards you? Duck.

What do you call a Caucasian in Russia? Russian.

How many Obamas does it take to screw an economy? What do you think?

what do chinese kids make for fathers day? shoes

One Direction has 12 letters. So does gayyyyyyyyyy. Coincidence? I think not.

Why did the policeman who's third wife just lost 20 pounds go to sleep? He was tired.

Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

If at first you don't succeed, go kill yourself

Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was on a diet

What's the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? What's the WNBA?

knock knock. who's there? Kony. Kony who? Kony says:" Uganda be abducted"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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