How did the fat guy survive the air crash? He was he was astronomically and improbably lucky.

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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A dad says to his son "you better stop masturbating or youll go blind'. And the son says "dad im over here".

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To mutilate the body of a Jewish girl that lay on the other side.

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how many dumbasses does it take to make a kushagra

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What is black and blue and red all over? My wife.

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What's small, furry and looks like a mouse? Most probably a mouse but given the large number of mammals with similar appearances to a mouse it could easily be a shrew, vole or even a rat if you don't know your rodents very well.

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How do you stop a baby falling down a well? Throw a javelin through its forehead.

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i man walks into a bar, he is found dead two days later with severe head trauma.

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Two black guys walk into a bar. One of them was white.

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A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is tearing his family apart.

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Why did the girls hair catch on fire her neighbor bullied her

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What's black and white and red all over? A dead penguin

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Q: What did the homeless man say when he was mauled by a bear? A: Ouch.

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So a horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "why the long face?" It proceeds to then crap on the floor and walk out,because its a horse.

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What did the parents say to their kid? You're adopted and we don't love you.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

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How do you get your dog to give you a blow job? You have to force him.

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Why was the man weird... Stevie Wonder

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He lived a long, full life. Outside of Nantucket. But he visited occasionally.

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stinky boner

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Im a Tree... BARK BARK!!!

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What did the father say to his son? ....nothing

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Q:why was steve sad? A:he had an extra penis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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