A turtle walks into a bar. The bar tender says "what will it be?" the turtle doesnt reply because its a turtle and the bar tender is sent to a mental hospital for talking to turtles.

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Q: What goes up but doesn't come down? A: Columbia

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Q: How do you keep a blond occupied for an hour? A: You write "flip over" on both sides of a blank piece of paper.

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why did kermit cry?Ms.Piggy knocked him out on Christmas and he slept through the party and all of the presents

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I don't get it

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven hundred and eighty nine.

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- Knock Knock. - Who is it? - I am - I am what? - I am dying please help me. - Sorry, I don't speak with strangers.

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A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Um...thats impossible because chickens live on farms theyre are no roads....

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How can you ruin someone's day? Tell them their mother has cancer. No really, I found out my mom has cancer a week ago.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Parkinsons, ;oshgfs;jgbRHG

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A blonde walks into an electronic store...she buys an IPhone because someone stole her blackberry, her money, and everything she cares for. Nah, I'm just kiddin', she was murdered.

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"Ask me if I'm a tea pot" "Are you a tea pot?" "No" Try this on your friends

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whats green and red green and red green and red? a frog in a blender.

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Violence is never the answer, its the question... The answer is YES!

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 cantaloupe.

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What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

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Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am a dog.

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What would a gay man do with a jelly doughnut? Thoroughly enjoy its fruity taste.

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Once there was this duck. he was the best dentist in the world...

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Wanna hear a joke? no

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What has straight black lines and is square? A refferee.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops